addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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