We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
