I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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