yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
