Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
