Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize