I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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