Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
But break dance skills will only take you so far
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
