Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
