its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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