And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
