Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
