Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
