At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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