There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Randomize
