dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Randomize
