I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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