I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
It's shark week go big or go home
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
