Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Randomize
