Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
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