Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
