ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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