Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
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