Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
her facebook's as public as her vagina
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
