can we get nightvision for the apartment?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
