You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
