You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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