Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
