Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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