dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
