his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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