Ambien. No doubt about it.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
