i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
