its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I fill condoms, not promises.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize