My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Randomize