sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
