i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
