Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
