Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
