420 ftw
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
