i was born a porn star she said
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize