Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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