3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize