am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
