I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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