you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
BRING THE BAGELS
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Come on in and take your pants off
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