His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
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