im drinking this country out of the recession.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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