No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
