I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
