Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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