Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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