We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
