please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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