the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize