i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
we're so committed to being not committed
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