And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
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