Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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