who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
