question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
