i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
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