could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
