Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
