I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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