New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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